Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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