i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
