I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
