Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Randomize
