Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
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