don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Never joke about your clitoris.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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