I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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