dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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