yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
why do cheetos always look like penises
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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