I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
