Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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