I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
