I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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