Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
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