and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
is it fun? or sober?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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