i barfeds in our rink
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
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