I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.