the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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