I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
