oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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