I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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