Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
