I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
