I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!