Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.