At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.