So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS