he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.