Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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