Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
This baby is an asshole
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
