Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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