Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize