Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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