so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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