glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
