you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
