he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
