I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
