If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
