oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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