Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
