I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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