She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
