youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Duck Duck Cougar?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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