Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
