I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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