Have you finally orgasmed yet?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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