You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
