coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
