Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
