dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
people are starting to question the shark bite story
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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