Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
