its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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