I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
