I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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