Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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