MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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