Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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