Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
that is very illegal...i love you.
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