I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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