dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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