I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
