I didn't shave. On purpose
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
sex in a hospital.. check
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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