I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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