guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
