I met the friendliest cop last night
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize