i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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