my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
