We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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