im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
