fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
What a dumb baby whore.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
